Wow... Where to start. A someone who has shared the (feeling/stress/lifestyle/attitude/perspective) of the ragged line between "entrepreneur" or "unemployed" for 25 years now, and as someone who has wondered both why AND what life would look like in 5, 10, 15 years, this whole thing resonates - generally comfortably for the most part, occasionally not.
I've never found an "answer," to any of these questions, but have rather just come to terms with the
"steady background hum, like tinnitus, but felt in the chest not heard in the ear..." (Nicely expressed, BTW.) I'm not sure, though, that I'd attribute it to the mind becoming inured of it, but rather an acceptance of the simple fact that life IS uncertain, and perhaps there is, ultimately, a benefit to that. Freedom and flexibility. The opportunity to experience so many different things in the horribly short time we are given.
Something I read awhile ago that has stuck with me. Maybe relevant here, or maybe just something t file away as you continue to write (please do!) and ruminate. As related by the writer Kurt Vonnegut, in the obituary he wrote for his fiend, Joseph Heller:
--
True story, Word of Honor:
Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer
now dead,
and I were at a party given by a billionaire
on Shelter Island.
I said, “Joe, how does it make you feel
to know that our host only yesterday
may have made more money
than your novel ‘Catch-22’
has earned in its entire history?”
And Joe said, “I’ve got something he can never have.”
And I said, “What on earth could that be, Joe?”
And Joe said, “The knowledge that I’ve got enough.”
Not bad! Rest in peace!”
-Kurt Vonnegut
---
Yes, contentment with "enough" contradicts the idea above regarding the freedom to explore more experiences, more paths etc.. What can I say? I told you I've never figured out how to reconcile everything. ;)
I'm really impressed that you put this out here. It's good. Really good. Please keep sharing - looking forward to catching up at the holidays.
Jamie, thank you for that awesome reflection. That Vonnegut/Heller anecdote is a gem and certainly highlights a theme of the piece: the difficulty in maintaining that balance between knowing to my core that I am enough while also having the courage to pursue my creative interests. Thanks for the encouragement as I take my first few steps.
so beautifully honest. (and feeling very honored to be on the distro!) and also a very compelling argument to embrace the power of both journaling and vulnerability… thank you and congratulations for putting this out there in the world
Wow... Where to start. A someone who has shared the (feeling/stress/lifestyle/attitude/perspective) of the ragged line between "entrepreneur" or "unemployed" for 25 years now, and as someone who has wondered both why AND what life would look like in 5, 10, 15 years, this whole thing resonates - generally comfortably for the most part, occasionally not.
I've never found an "answer," to any of these questions, but have rather just come to terms with the
"steady background hum, like tinnitus, but felt in the chest not heard in the ear..." (Nicely expressed, BTW.) I'm not sure, though, that I'd attribute it to the mind becoming inured of it, but rather an acceptance of the simple fact that life IS uncertain, and perhaps there is, ultimately, a benefit to that. Freedom and flexibility. The opportunity to experience so many different things in the horribly short time we are given.
Something I read awhile ago that has stuck with me. Maybe relevant here, or maybe just something t file away as you continue to write (please do!) and ruminate. As related by the writer Kurt Vonnegut, in the obituary he wrote for his fiend, Joseph Heller:
--
True story, Word of Honor:
Joseph Heller, an important and funny writer
now dead,
and I were at a party given by a billionaire
on Shelter Island.
I said, “Joe, how does it make you feel
to know that our host only yesterday
may have made more money
than your novel ‘Catch-22’
has earned in its entire history?”
And Joe said, “I’ve got something he can never have.”
And I said, “What on earth could that be, Joe?”
And Joe said, “The knowledge that I’ve got enough.”
Not bad! Rest in peace!”
-Kurt Vonnegut
---
Yes, contentment with "enough" contradicts the idea above regarding the freedom to explore more experiences, more paths etc.. What can I say? I told you I've never figured out how to reconcile everything. ;)
I'm really impressed that you put this out here. It's good. Really good. Please keep sharing - looking forward to catching up at the holidays.
J
Jamie, thank you for that awesome reflection. That Vonnegut/Heller anecdote is a gem and certainly highlights a theme of the piece: the difficulty in maintaining that balance between knowing to my core that I am enough while also having the courage to pursue my creative interests. Thanks for the encouragement as I take my first few steps.
This is everything my brother 💪
Thank you my man!
so beautifully honest. (and feeling very honored to be on the distro!) and also a very compelling argument to embrace the power of both journaling and vulnerability… thank you and congratulations for putting this out there in the world
Thanks for the warm feedback Betsy!